Fryer and Spice
by Phantom.Crimsonnight
Summary: [Sequal to Into the Crazy Wild] Spottedleaf servived her makeup melting frenzy, and Fireheart couldn't be happier...[Complete!]
1. Prologue: Spottedleaf Lives

**Fryer And Spice**

**I completed Into The Crazy Wild, Now it is Fire and Ice! Or shall I say...Fryer and SPICE! YAY!**

**Prologue: SPOTTEDLEAF LIVES!**

**Fireheart: Spottedleaf! You're alive!**

**Spottedleaf: Duh...**

**Fireheart: Now that we're both, warriors, lets get down to buisness!**

**(Both walk towards the direction of Fourtrees)**

**Graystripe: (To Dustpaw) Uh oh...**

**Dustpaw: Uh huh...**

**Sandpaw: Like, where is Spottedleaf! We like have to go to the like mall!**

**Graystr****ipe: Her and Fireheart, are well, "busy"**

**Sandpaw: Oh...like ill just take Mousefur!**

**Mousefur:okay!**

**Sandpaw: Like, By Dustpaw!**

**Dustpaw: Bye...(drools)**

**SHORT AND FUNNY! REVIEW!**


	2. UH OH SPOTTY!

**Chapter One:  
Uh Oh Spottedleaf and Fireheart, Meet Silver hottie, and Graystripes Issue. **

**YOU ASKED FOR AN UPDATE! HERE IT IS:)**

**Fireheart: (Grins)**

**Spottedleaf: (Grins back)**

**Lionheart's Ghost: DUUDE and DUUDET! Wooooah! Dude, and dudet like wait until you get to like camp until you like...yeah...**

**(Spottedleaf and Fireheart run away from Fourtrees. They are back at camp.)**

**Fireheart: (screams like a girl)**

**Spottedleaf: I didn't know you could scream like a girl...**

**Fireheart: (Grins) **

**(Graystripe comes screaming back into camp)**

**Graystripe: HEY YOU TWO! You guys aren't "busy" anymore. Good. Well...I met this hottie. cummere!**

**Fireheart: KK! COMN' SPOTTY?**

**Spottedleaf: I like cant...**

**Fireheart: COS COS! (pronounced coos coos)**

**(At Sunningrocks)**

**Silverstream: la da da da dee...la da da da dum...la da dee de da da dum la da dee da dum da da dum dum dum dum dum...da da da da de...la da da da dum...**

**Graystripe: BABE!**

**Silverstream: SNOOKUMS! Who is that hottie?**

**Fireheart: (Staring at her) hi...(Drools) I uhh...am already...uhhh...i already...uhh...have a girlfriend...uhh...**

**Graystripe: When he sees pretty girls, he uh...spazzes out if u get my meaning...**

**Silverstream: Yeah...**

**(At camp)**

**Graystripe: OHHH I HAVE ISSUES, ISSUES, ISSUES ISSUES ISSUES...**

**Sandpaw: Like, we already know that! Sped! **

**Graystripe: THATS IT! (runs after Sandpaw, but sees her making out w/ Dustpaw in the Apprentices den) EWW EWWW EWWW EWWW EWWW EWW EWWW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW **

**Fireheart: sped...thats the eighteenth time i saw u doing that this week!**

**LOL! THATS THE END! OF THIS CHAPPY NE WAY:) **

**HOPE U LIKEY!**

**REVEIW**


	3. SANDPAW THROWS A TANTRUM!

Chapter Two:

Sandpaw Gets **_MAD, _**Spottedleaf and Silverstream's Cat Fight, and Graystripe Tries Cheese.

**I UPDATED! WOOP WOOP!**

Sandpaw: So, Spotty, why were you like busy with Fire-whatsit?

Spottedleaf: Because...

Sandpaw: I See...WHY DO YOU KEEP NEGLECTING ME!

Spottedleaf: I Don't neglect you.

Sandpaw: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! (cries)

Spottedleaf: dont throw a tantrum.

Sandpaw: (Gets Real Mad) I WILL THROW A TANTRUM IF I WANT TO! NO IFS ANDS OR BUTS ABOUT IT! (stomps out)

(LATER IN THE FOREST)

Silverstream: Graystripe is so much hotter than that Fire-whatsit of yours.

Spottedleaf: NO!

Silverstream: YES!

Spottedleaf: NO!

Silverstream: YES! (slaps Spotty)

Spottedleaf: OH NO YOU DIDN'T!

Silverstream: OH YES I DID!

Spottedleaf: -slaps Silvy-

(Both get into a "cat fight")

(BACK AT CAMP)

Fireheart: Just try it. -forces cheese towards Graystripe's mouth-

Graystripe: NO!

Fireheart: Its good! OPEN YOUR MOUTH! HERE COMES A DRAGONFLY!

Graystripe: YUMMY! DRAGONFLY!

Fireaheart: -pushes cheese into graystripe's mouth-

Graystripe: That's a yucky tasting dragonfly. -spits-

Fireheart: GROSS MAN!

**FUNNY FUNNY FUNNY! REVIEW and tell me your fav part:)**


	4. THE GATHERING

Chapter Three:

The Gathering, The Proposal, and Graystripe Is TOO Tan

**Here is an update:**

**Owlheart: Don't burn all of your Warriors books**

Spottedleaf and Sandpaw were hanging out by the river wearing coral pink bakinis, and drinking margaritas, until Dustpaw and Fireheart snuck up behind them, and tipped them into the river with the rest of the Clans partying in the sunshine.

"FIREHEART!" exclaimed Spottedleaf. Her margarita was dumped out on the ground, and a bass hopped up with her Sunglasses on.

"Come on, Spotty! It's called Summer!" exclaimed Fireheart. He jumped in the river wearing a pair of shorts.

They swam about in the river.

"You coming with me to the Gathering tonight?" asked Fireheart, kissing his beautiful sweetheart.

"Oh, I would never miss a gathering, baby," mewed Spottedleaf.

Later

Spottedleaf arrived outside the warriors den in a V-neck coral pink dress, and prettty pink shoes. She walked in. Graystripe was at the tanning salon, Lionheart's ghost and Redtail's ghost were in the jucuzzi with Mousefur. Whitestorm and Willowpelt were in a room that said "Do Not Disturb" and Fireheart walked out in a tux and smelled of cologne.

"Ready?" he asked.

"Like of corse!" she exclaimed. They drove to the gathering in Spottedleaf's Jaguar and danced till they dropped.

"YO YO YO!" exclaimed Tigerclaw. "ITS TIME TO GET THIS PARTAY STARTED! WOOT WOOT!"

"WOOT WOOT!" exclaimed all the cats at the gathering. Tigerclaw played "American Idiot" and than the Gathering was over.

On The Way Home

Fireheart decided that now was the time. As Spottedleaf got into the car, he took her into an open field where the stars of StarClan glittered down onto them, and bent down on one knee.

"Spottedleaf, will you marry me?" asked Fireheart.

"Like, of course, baby!" exclaimed Spottedleaf. There was no more talking after that...

The Next Morning

A very tan Graystripe walked down towards the Gathering spot, and there he saw Spottedleaf and Fireheart laying together on the field.

"AHHHHHHHHHH!" he exclaimed, having an emotional breakdown. "THEY DIED!"

"Wha?" asked Spottedleaf, picking up her head. Than, she saw Fireheart, and the happy couple rolled into a soft bush, and didn't come out for a long while.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" exlcaimed Graystripe. "EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!"

**DID U LIKEY? HOPE SO:)**


	5. PLANNING 4 THE WEDDING!

Planning For The Wedding, Whoz Da Best Tom, and The Bridal Shower

**WOO WOO WOO:) LEZ GET THIS PARTY STARTED:3**

Spottedleaf and Fireheart woke up in Spottedleaf's den. They looked at each other, with smiles on thier faces.

"Morning, babe!" yawned Spottedleaf. She got up out of bed. She put on a miniskirt and a tanktop. She slipped on flipflops. Fireheart put on like, those kinda shorts that guys wear, and a t-shirt. Than he took off the t-shirt.

"Spotty do I have to wear a shirt? All the other toms don't wear shirts!" complained Fireheart.

"Babe, can you just like wear the like top to the like wedding planner place, than when we like come back you can like take it like off? Hows that like sound?" asked Spottedleaf.

"Okay," Fireheart sighed. He put on a shirt, but this time it was one of those white tank top thingys that guys wear. He put on a hat that said "ThunderClan Lions." They walked to Spottedleaf's car, and than they drove off towards "Yellowfang's Wedding Planner" in ShadowClan territory. They jumped out and went into the place. They sat in a highly scented purple fluffy room. Yellowfang walked in wearing a suit skirt thingamabobber.

"Hello!" mewed Yellowfang. "Spottedleaf and Fireheart? What a lovely couple. I expect that I'll probably be seeing kits from you two soon? But lets get off that subject. Anyway. Lets look at uhh...rooms reserved at Highstones for yout wedding ceremony." Yellowfang reached into the bookshelf and pulled out "Highstones Wedding Rooms" She set it in front of them. Spottedleaf and Fireheart looked through it.

"What a lovely room!" exclaimed Spottedleaf, looking at the tall one with stained glass windows.

"You like that one?" asked Yellowfang. "Raggedstar and I were married in there. It brings back so many fine memories. Are you going to take that room?"

"Yes," mewed Fireheart. Spottedleaf smiled and nodded.

"Good, now lets look at available StarClan preachers. We have Redtail, and Lionheart," mewed Yellowfang.

"I think we'll go with Redtail," answered Spottedleaf, a little too quickly.

"Good choice," Yellowfang laughed. "Lionheart is available always if Redtail can't make it. I'll make an appointment for tux fittings, best mans tuxs, etc., and a dress fitting for you and your bridesmades. Also for cake tasting. All we have to do now is pick a reception room." She took out another book: RECEPTION ROOMS IN THUNDERCLAN TERRITORY. Spottedleaf and Fireheart skimmed through it. They found one right outside Fourtrees.

"We like this one," mewed Spottedleaf. Yellowfang nodded.

"So I'll call you when i get your appointmets for tuxs dresses, and cake! Thanks for planning with Yellowfang!" meowed Yellowfang. Spottedleaf and Fireheart smiled. They left, taking a guest list and announcement board at Fourtrees. In the car, they sat down and started filling out the lists and things. They drove through Fourtrees. On the board lay posted this:

**WEDDING!**

**Groom: Fireheart Bride: Spottedleaf**

**Best Man: Graystripe Maid of Honor: Sandpaw**

**Groomsmen: Bridesmaids:**

**Ravenpaw Mistyfoot **

**Whitestorm Silverstream**

**GUESTS:**

**ALL ARE WELCOME:3**

They drove home.

LATER

Graystripe and Fireheart were hanging out by the river wearing nothing but shorts, talking.

"WHOZ DA BEST MAN!" screamed Fireheart. "WHOZ DA BEST MAN! WHOZ DA BEST MAN!"

"Fireheart...i think we've had enough!" sighed Graystripe.

"WHOZ DA BEST MAN!" screeched Fireheart. "WHOZ DA BEST MAN! WHOZ DA BEST MAN!"

"Thats it you stupid ginger tom!" yowled Graystripe. He picked up Fireheart, wacked him at a tree, and through him in a river. Fireheart was drunk...so he ended up laughing.

THE NEXT WEEK

All the she-cats that were part of the bridal party were all dancing around in thier underwear...top and bottom of course singing "Hollaback Girl"

"Few times I been around that track cuz uhmm...SPOTTEDLEAF I FOREGET THE WORDS!" yowled Mistyfoot.

"WHO FLIPPIN CARES! SUCKS 4U!" screamed Spottedleaf. Eating icecream. "TIME FOR MY PRESENTS!" Sandpaw stuck hers in Spottedleaf's face first. She opened Sandpaw's preasent.

"OHH! BON JOVI!! YAY! I DONT HAVE THE CROSSROAD CD! THANX FOR GETTING IT, SANDPAW!" She pulled out a new cooking apron that had the Have a nice Day album cover on it. It said. 'I'm the chef. If you don't like my food than HAVE A NICE DAY!'

"Thanx Sandpaw!" she mewed.

"You're welcome, sista from anotha motha!" mewed Sandpaw. She opened Mistyfoot's gift next. She pulled out a new robe, and night silk dress.

"Thanks! MISTYFOOT!" smiled Spottedleaf. Finally she picked Silverstream's preasent. She opened it and there was a new set of silk bedcovers.

"THANX SILVY!" mewed Spottedleaf. They speant the rest of the night partying in thier underwear and eating ice cream and singing "Hollaback Girl"

**DID U LIKE MY XTREMLY LONG UPDATE:)**


	6. WTF HAPPENED TO MY DRESS!

**Fryer and Spice**

**Sorry for the really really REALLY long time for updating. Yes, I know. I'm a bad girl. :D:D anyway. The reason i havent updated in awhile is that i've been planning my b-day. Yup. Its coming up REEEEEL soon. March 3!!!! and the "bride from darkclan" thing i was watching this wedding show and these brides were like GRR so spottedleaf is going to have a stressful wedding day! like a WTF wedding day. until the reception. that is gunna b a blast! CHA CHING! lol :D:D**

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Chapter Five: 

The Tux's. The Dress, and the Bride from DarkClan

Okay. So I guess we will start at the tux place with Graystripe, Fireheart, and the rest of the crew.

"FIREHEART!" yowled Graystripe.

"WTH DO YOU WANT!" yowled Fireheart. He was fixing the tie on the tux.

"The tux doesnt fit!" Graystripe replied. Fireheart walked into his friends dressing room.

"WTF?" he screamed. "YOU HAVE THIS ALL ON BEHIND BACKWARDS!"

"I do?" asked Graystripe. Well...as we leave this lovely incident...lets go see how Spottedleaf and the bridesmades are doing...

ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff&ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

Spottedleaf and her homies were not doing any better. Spottedleaf was throwing a fit.

"SANDPAW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" yowled Spottedleaf. Sandpaw ran over with a pretty blue dress.

"YES?" screeched the ginger apprentice. Spottedleaf took the dress and ripped it to shreds.

"WTF DID YOU DO TO MY DRESSSSSSS!" screeched Sandpaw.

"WTH ARE YOU STANDING HERE FOR!!!!!!!!!!!" screeched Spottedleaf. "NOW BRING ME MY DRESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!" Sandpaw slapped Spotty. Spotty slapped Sandy. Mistyfoot and Silverstream just ran out of the place screaming...

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**I know its short, but i have planning to do! TA TA 4 NOWWWWWWWW:D:D**

**Brambleclaw's Babe**


	7. CHEESECAKE AND ORLANDOBLOOMPAW

**Fryer and Spice**

**Flamers, Reviewers, and Die-Hard-Fans:**

**HIYA!**

**here is the chapter you've all been waiting for...Fireheart and Spottedleaf getting bound in holy matrimony...or will they...will something happen to tear them apart?!?!?!? HAPPY EASTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**im cold...**

**BRAMBLECLAWS BABE**

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Chapter Five: 

Cheescake and Orlandobloompaw

Spottedleaf awoke. _Dammit..._she thaught _Today is my wedding day..._She smiled, and laughed.

"This could be a good thing," Spottedleaf grinned. Sandpaw came walking in just as Spottedleaf put a waffle in the toaster.

"Like, hey spotty!!!" Sandpaw mewed.

"Like, hey sandy!!!" Spottedleaf mewed. "We gots to get to like Fourtrees where I am going to get my like wedding dress, lets like, GO!" Spottedleaf and Sandpaw hopped into the convertable. Silverstream and Mistyfoot would come off of R 15, the gorge way. It seemed as if every cat was preparing for the marriage of Fireheart and Spottedleaf. At Fourtrees...Spottedleaf began having a mental breakdown.

"YELLOW CAKE?" she screamed into the phone. "I WANTED CHEESECAKE YOU PIECE OF BOLOGNA!" she growled. "AHHH OUT OF CHEESECAKE? NO ONE IS EVER OUT OF CHEESECAKE! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!" she yowled and shut the phone. Sandpaw was already dressed in her sleevless blue dress, with a bow around the center, and some bluebells, babys breath, violets, and white roses.

"Like, Spotty, Yellowfang like wants you, like to like get your like dress like on," mewed Sandpaw, futzing with the silky trim under her arm.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The organist played the traditional "Here comes The Bride." Every cat turned to see a beautiful, smiling Spottedleaf walking down the aisle. She took Fireheart's hand, and everyone sat.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join this tom, and this she-cat in the bond of holy matirimony. If any cat objects that these two cats should be together, speak now, or forever hold your piece," Redtail began. Suddenly, an apprentice came running up the aisle. All the she-cats began to swoon. It was ORLANDOBLOOMPAW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"I OBJECT!" he yowled. "I want Spottedleaf, and she wants me, I LOVE YOU, HOTTIE LITTLE SPOTTY!" Spottedleaf was in Orlandobloompaw's arms in a second.

"Sorry, Firey...we just werent right together," Spottedleaf sighed, and was taken away through the roof as Orlandobloompaw magicly grew wings. Fireheart was sad to see her go, but then turned to Sandpaw, his eyes full of tears. Sandpaw's eyes were full of tears too. Sandpaw took Fireheart's paws, and she said sweet words.

"Fireheart...I love you," she cried as she choked back tears.

"Sandpaw, I love you too," mewed Fireheart. Bluestar magicly flew in

"YADDA YADDA YADDA..SANDPAWS NEW NAME IS SANDSTORM, AND DUSTPAWS NEW NAME IS DUSTPELT, DUSTPELT, SIT SANDSTORMS VIGIL FOR HER." mewed Bluestar. She flew out, and Sandpaw and Firestar were married...

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**the end of this chapter...yay. R&R. This is sorta continued into the next chapter, which is the reception.**


	8. STRIPPING SHECATS?

**Fryer and Spice**

**by HermionexRonxisxTruexLove**

**okay...so heres the reception of Fireheart and the newly named Sandstorm. (okay dustpelt has to sit two vigils. oh well.) so...yeah. R&R.**

**--HrxRxisxTxL**

**Disclaimer: i own nothing but the ichy bug bite on my ankle. **

* * *

The Reception, Drunk Toms, and Stripping She-Cats 

Fireheart and Sandstorm drove to the reception in a streatch limo. Spottedleaf immediately came back in just a purple dress to the reception. Fireheart, Sandstorm, Spottedleaf, Silverstream, Mistyfoot, Graystripe, Ravenpaw & Whitestorm were put in a little room.

"Why the HellClan do we have to be put in here?" yowled Sandstorm. The rest of them shrugged their shoulders.

"Hey guys! Look what I found!" Whitestorm mewed, and pulled a bottle of Taquila out of the cabinet.

"TAQUILA!" shouted everyone. As they were screaming, wineglasses magicly appeared in their paws.

"Cool! Screaming is magic!" Silverstream mewed. Whitestorm popped the top off of the Taquila, and poured everyone a glass. They all drank until they were drunk. Bluestar came in.

"Everyone ready to be presented?" asked Bluestar. Sandstorm let out a loud belch.

"Dragonflies are purty," she mewed, and then laughed at herself.

"Okay, who's dealing catnip?" Bluestar asked, then saw the bottle of Taquila laying empty on the floor. "Oh great StarClan. They're drunk! Everyone in a single file line behind me!" They all followed Bluestar out, and she stood with a micraphone outside a little arch.

"Now, presenting the lovely second bridesmaid, and her groomsman, Silverstream, and Whitestorm!" Bluestar yowled. Silverstream and Whitestorm walked through the arch, waving and smiling. Silverstream took her seat; the last one at the right end of the table, and Whitestorm took his, the last seat at the left end of the table. "Next is the first bridesmaid, and her groomsman, Mistyfoot and Ravenpaw!" Mistyfoot walked through, took her seat next to Silverstream, and Ravenpaw took his next to Whitestorm. "Now, the Maid of Honor, and her Best Tom, Spottedleaf and Graystripe!" Spottedleaf and Graystripe walked out from under the arch, and Spottedleaf took her seat next to the bride's chair, and Graystripe took his next to the Groom's chair. "And now, let us all stand to honor the bride and groom, Sandstorm and Fireheart!" Everyone stood and clapped as Fireheart and Sandstorm took their seats. Then, dinner was served, then came dancing. Everyone danced. Fireheart, Graystripe, Ravenpaw, and Whitestorm (drunk of course) did the Macerena. Thats when Sandstorm, Spottedleaf, Mistyfoot, and Silverstream...started to...Strip. Sandstorm threw off her viel, kicked off her shoes, and tried to unzip her dress. All of the she-cats in the bridal party did the same. Finally there was a riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip and Sandstorm stood in front of everyone in a bra and a thong...and pantyhose smiling. Thats when she and Fireheart disappeared...FROM SIGHT MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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**okay...not as funny as the others, but oh well. hehe r&r. this ends Fryer and Spice. look out for its sequal, 'Forest of Peas' coming soon to your archive!**


End file.
